Friday, June 1, 2012

Perfectionism and perfectionist rule~I want high marks~

PERFECTIONISM. PERFECTIONIST.

I never knew the entire meaning of these two words beforehand until I started to be obsess with the greatest and legendary King Of Pop - Michael Jackson. 

I have a quote of his about perfection in front of my table for 3 years already, which I THINK I copied from his book - Moonwalker. 

Often people just don't see what I see. They have too much doubt. You can't do your best when you're doubting yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, who will? Just doing as well as you did last time is not good enough. I think of it as the "Try to get what you can" mentality. It doesn't require you to stretch, to grow. I don't believe in that. I believe we are powerful, but we don't use our minds of full capacity. Your mind is powerful enough to attain whatever you want. 

Pretty well-said isn't it? It took me a year or so to fully decipher what it means. Because when I first posted this thing in front of my table, I was just an immature 15 year-old kid ><

Recently someone told me...There is no perfection in this world. Nothing is perfect. Even the perfect things will definitely have flaws. 

Huge contrast! 

For me, I am one typical weirdo. If I want to do something and I am determined enough, I will strive for perfection. If not, I would just simply produce some shitty piece of work or even not do it at all. 

Recently, I have been swarmed by heaps of homework. Assignments are piling up as tall as Mount Everest. Plus exams are coming up in 3 weeks' time. That's the reason why I am like a piece of dead meat recently. Totally lost the aim of life. Everyday I wake up, then what I see laying on my desk is my iPad, which contains tonnes of Maths digital sheets. Then Accounting books. Economics notes. History papers....Everything flying all around.

Accounting essay. History essay. Literature essay. I HAVE TO finish them by this weekend. 

My nightmare comes when I wake up...totally opposite!
I seek for perfection in my essays. I had rewritten 3 times for my accounting essay and 5 times for my history essay. I need to make sure they meet my own satisfactory limit or else there's guilt growing inside me. Sometimes I blame myself for trying to reach for perfection, BUT heck! I know myself well...I need to and I must. I want to get high marks. Making myself exhausted is totally worth it as long as the outcome is what I want. 

What a dying of exhaustion face early in the morning.....Can't wait for holidays!
Gonna say GOOD LUCK to myself. I am nearly done with my accounting and history essay. I hope up to this point, there's no need to rewrite anymore, only some final touch-ups here and there. Don't really have the guts to summit them actually even they will be due soon :/ Will be starting my Literature essay today, right after I finish this blog post and have my shower and breakfast. 

I still keep my hopes high~ Praying praying praying~
God bless me in my essays. I want HIGH MARKS! My prayers will be answered right? I believe perfections are achievable. Keeping my fingers crossed~HIGH MARKS HIGH MARKS HIGH MARKS~~~

Keep Sm:)ling~ 

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